KARMIC GURU
-Marilyn
LOG LINE: Karmic Guru is
a black comedy about a yoga instructor who moonlight’s as a karma lifting guru.
SYNOPSIS: Ken sits at his
altar of incense and declares he is to become Karmic Guru a karma lifting near
super power. He will be available to
serve the people who are karmic phobic victims in their own lives and relieve
them of it for ten thousand dollars. He
is married to his college sweetheart Cindy and they run a yoga studio together
Ken and Cindy’s Yoga. It is suggested ET’s are not welcome in this movie as Ken
waves some hovering above his house away as he enters returning home. Ken finds
his first client for his new services Leslie who has five phobias to cure. The nature of the phobias is so ridiculous
that Ken sets up a laboratory of gags in the spa room of their facilities. Leslie relaxes on a treatment table and
suddenly cold water sprays on her from the sprinkler above Ken covered with mud
from self administered mud therapy slugs mud at her also to get her to loosen
up and tell him what is behind her phobias by invoking pure rage in her. He encourages her to scream at him he kisses
her she finally screams five curses around the phobias including fear of
cottage cheese he has thrown at her. Leslie cannot believe what has happened
she’s raged, screamed and is finally cured of her phobias.
Elated Ken is on a roll with more people interested in his karma
lifting services. He attracts Lance who
is afraid of heights. Ken receives
another ten thousand dollars to cure Lance. His therapy involves taking Lester
to a nearby bridge where they sit face Lance’s terrible fear finally Ken
plunges himself and Lance into the water below.
Lance is saved by Ken is dragged to Ken’s sister’s party after this
ordeal where they get dry clothing and sit over drinks.
Ken finds Cindy smooching Fred his yoga instructor in practice
for better intimacy with his new flame Geraldine. They debate the topic and Ken is looking
forward to his date with his girlfriend.
Fred has a great date with Geraldine they fight over how to spend the
evening, he wanted to listen to music she to watch a crime show they settle on
making out on the sofa.
Ken meets Rhona who is afraid of failure he treats her with
total freedom of saying anything she wants in job interviews. She applies for floor manager of a busy fish
shop and meets Danny the romantic owner who likes to flirt with women. After a series of bad jokes ending with the
clinic next door where shoppers who are pregnant can go for their medical
appointments Rhona decides she is cured of the fear of failure. Ken is amazed.
Sam meets Ken a young man burned in a horrible fire as a child.
He tackles fear of strangers playing a crook with a ski masque on as a gag with
a visit to his reclusive widower neighbor Alice. They surprise her with
balloons and a cake to say, ‘this is your year anniversary of sitting in this
chair watching TV alone.’ Sam realizes his life is not so terrible a surprises
can also be joyous not always terrible like house fires. Sam is a cured success
also.
After a joyous idyllic time with his wife and the successful
yoga studio Ken meets Alison a pragmatic business woman’s wife who has fear of
ET’s. Ken decided to take her to an old
dive hotel in a shady part of town where there is tons of crime and ET
surveillance. They sit drink Bloody Mary’s
shooting begins outside the hotel and they witness a robbery inside as well at
the bar! ET’s intervene and disable the
robber; he falls to the ground after robbing the cash box at the bar. Cops arrive and get the perp. Alison and Ken leave the blood soaked
premises outside the hotel in a cab and return home Alison is cured of her
phobia deciding crime is worse.
Geraldine and Frank heat up deciding to marry in Vegas. Cindy decides to plan a holiday for her and
Ken soon to Wimbledon. Meanwhile another
client shows up for Karmic Guru therapy Peggy who is afraid of time after a car
crash on the way to pick up dry cleaning at the last minute before they close.
Ken stages a ware house filled with watches to demonstrate to Peggy how time
runs you if you allow it. One experience he gives her is a walk on a tread mill
holding a watch timing herself as she hates exercise to make the point followed
by an activity he likes which creates ‘timelessness.’ She survives the wild labyrinth of the
trappings of the mind and finds herself freed from the ‘fear of time’ taking
over her life.
Finally Ken is faced with the ultimate challenge Lewis who hires
him to get rid of his karma from a murder he committed; he shot his boss and
stole money that was to go into the company account. Lewis sweats over bad
dreams and wants a clear mind on his vacation to the tropics so he hires Ken to
cure him of the bad dreams. Ken finds out Lewis’s boss he shot had discovered
him as a new sales talent. Lewis feels
guilty about this so Ken has a solution.
Ken takes the ten grand and drives Lewis to a high way. They park in the rest area and discuss the
murder to get it all out. Ken asks Lewis how it felt to shoot his boss and if
he could hear his heart beat ebb till he died.
Lewis begins to lose it. They go
for a walk along the high way and talk. Lewis relives the murder hears his
bosses heart beat in his brain as he’s running from the crime scene; relives
his boss smiling when he first hired him and cracks jumping in front of a truck
on the high way. Lewis is instantly
killed by the accident he’s been in committing suicide. Ken returns home is somber and realizes with
Cindy he helps Lewis get rid of his karma for the murder early in this life.
Ken and Cindy book Wimbledon and sit at the game holding hands
enjoying life and their mutual success.
